Brian Regan. Stupid in School

I'd like to tell you a little about my favorite comedian Brian Regan.

Atlantic City Weekly called him  one of the most-beloved stand-up comics over the past 15 years. His comedy, big enough for everyone, sharp enough for you, keeps audiences coming back time and again to see what's new in the
comedy world of Brian Regan.

Brian Joseph Regan is an American stand-up comedian who uses observational, sarcastic, and self-deprecating humor. His performances are relatively "clean" as he refrains from profanity and off-color humor. Regan's material typically covers everyday events, such as shipping a package with UPS and a visit to an optometrist. Regan makes frequent references to childhood, including little league baseball, grade school spelling bees, and science projects. His clean, off-center humor has been praised by critics and contemporaries alike and Regan enjoys a fan base that crosses young taste makers to middle-aged adults; he is respected in the comedy community for being a "universal comic".

Regan has been blazing a trail of laughter over the past few years and it’s even more amazing when you realize he doesn’t need to be shocking or dirty to get a laugh. But what’s interesting is that most people won’t even realize this until the end of the show when they think, “Wait a minute. There isn’t one joke of his that I couldn’t tell my boss or my kids.” -Metro Spirit

All of Brian Regan's jokes are absolutely hilarious, but one of the best, in my opinion, is "Stupid in School" 

I don't know. I'd be a lot better off if I would've studied more when I was growing up.
But you know when it all went wrong was the day of the selling bee. 'cause up until that day that I was an idiot, but nobody else knew, you know. Then the spelling bee day, you know, popped up.
 "Alright kids up against the wall. It's time for public humiliation. Spell a word wrong, sit down in front of your friends. That's great for a little ego, 'Say, look at me! I'm a moron, I wasn't even close! I was using numbers and stuff!"
That's why I admired that kid who spelled it wrong just on purpose so he can sit down, you know. He knew he wasn't going to win so why stand up there for 3 hours? First round, 'Cat' k-a-t, I'm outta here. Then as he passed you, "I know there are 2 t's."
I remember my teacher asked me, "Brian, what's the 'i' before 'e' rule?"
 'i' before 'e'... ALWAYS."
"What are you, an idiot, Brian?"
"Apparently."
So, she explains that "No, Brian, it's  'i' before 'e'. except after c and when sounding like 'a' as in neighbor and weigh, and on weekends and holidays and all throughout May, and you'll always be wrong no matter what you say!"
"That's a hard rule. That's a— that's a rough rule."
Plurals were hard, too.
“Brian, how do you make a word a plural?”
“You put a ‘s’...put a ‘s’ at the end of it.”
“When?”
 “On weekends and holidays!!!”
 “No, Brian. Let me show you.”
So she asked this kid who knew everything,Irwin. “Irwin, what’s the plural for ox?”
“Oxen. The farmer used his oxen.”
“Brian?”
“What?”
“Brian, what’s the plural for box?”
“Boxen. I bought 2 boxen of doughnuts.”
"No, Brian, no. Let's try another one. Irwin, what's the plural for goose?"
"Geese. I saw a flock... of geese."
"Brian!"
"Wha-at?"
"Brian, what's the plural for moose?"
"MOOSEN!! I saw a flock of moosen! There were many of 'em. Many much moosen. Out in the woods—in the woodes—in the woodsen. The meese want the food. The food is to eatenesen. The meese want the food in the woodyesen! In the, food in the woodenesen!"
"Brian! Brian. You're an imbecile."
"Imbecile-n."
"What are you speaking German, Brian?"
"German. Jermain. Jermaine Jackson. Jackson Five. Tito!"
"Brian, what the hell are you talking about!?"
 "I don't know, I don't know, really."

If you've enjoyed "Stupid in School", you'll love watching the whole show called "I Walked on the Moon". 

Or you can watch parts of this show Eye Doctor and Emergency Room here, in this blog.